My religiosity and being Muslim was like all other children who are born in Muslim families, hereditary

Leaving Islam and Living Islam

~~By Azam Kkamguian~~

I left Islam long before I lived Islam. This is what I shall be discussing in my testimony. I do not intend to talk about Koranic verses in an abstract way.; Rrather, I shall be describing what these verses meant in real life, my life along with the lives of millions of people.

My being a Muslim, like all other children who are accidentally born into Muslim families, was hereditary. My parents were ordinary Muslims. They started prayer and fasting in their late thirties. My father was relatively open-minded but my mother indoctrinated us and used religious rules for protecting her children. I was the youngest of six children. The home environment was more suitable for my education and growth than for that of my siblings. We had a big study with all kinds of books including science and other non-fiction as well as fiction. That room was an important part of my world, a part that helped save me from the harm of religion, from the harm of Islam and superstition.

Now, in writing this testimony, I am trying to remember scenes from my childhood. My older brother and sister prayed and fasted for a short period of their lives, when I was four to five years old. Under my mother’s indoctrination, I myself prayed and fasted between the ages of nine and eleven. I cannot remember praying and fasting at any other time. I also remember that my mother took me to some religious ceremonies of which I have some horrifying images and memories. I am talking about Tasouaa and Ashoura, when men hit themselves and their small children with clusters of heavy chains and swords, for the pleasure of Imam Housein. They shed their blood and the blood of their small children violently for Islam's sake.

My doubts about god began seriously when I was 12 years old. From that age, I began to read books on evolution and science, and on the history of human social evolution, and asked questions constantly. That was a significant period in my life; the period of doubts and of search for the truth. When I was 15, an important incident marked my life and ~~put an end to~~blocked off any possible fate of a person who could have believed in god and religion. My youngest brother, who was older than I, 18 years old, was recruited ~~recruited~~ [v1] by one of the darkest Islamic factions, the anti–Bahais, who were called Hojatieh. That was the oddest possible phenomenon. My brother had been interested in music, cinema and reading books. We were very close and loved each other. We watched movies, went to theaters and enjoyed our time together. He was learning to play a musical instrument and was extremely intelligent, one of the top students in math and physics in the country. All of a sudden, he started to read the Koran and Ali ~~Ali~~ [v2] Shariati's books. Shariati was widely read and admired across the politico- religious spectrum in those years. My brother also began to take part in activities harassing and intimidating Bahais. Gradually, I became familiar with one of the ugly faces of Islam.

He invited me to participate in their discussion meetings, which I did, and the more I did, the more deeply I felt about our differences. In that period, I mainly read scientific and materialistic books. So when they gave me books written by Motahari and ~~Makarem~~ Makarem Shirizi, two famous mullahs of the time,. I just told them that these books are extremely ridiculous and I wouldn't read them. And that is why Shariati became popular. He was a non-mullah educated in Paris. He used philosophical and sociological and even Marxist concepts and terminology in the framework of anti-colonial, 'anti- cultural iImperialism', to attract the anti-shah youth of the time to Islam. They urged me to read Doctor's (that is what he was called) books, especially Fatemeh Fatemeh Ast; "Fatima is Fatima". I read the book and refuted it with my rational understanding at that time. Years later, in 1996 when I was working on my own book,; "Islam, Women, Challenges and Perspectives", I referred to Shariati and that book. Shariati introduced Fatima, the daughter of the prophet Mohammad and wife of Ali, the first Imam of Shiism, as his ideal role model against the traditional woman and the Westernized woman, whom he saw as the modern 'doll', the agent of the enemy.

The dominant theme in Shiite discourse in the 1970s was disdain for changing the status, dress and conduct of women. The attitude cohered with the dominant anti-imperialist tendencies, which targeted Western economic and cultural influences as the root cause of all national problems. 'Emancipated' women in religious and Easternist discourse were the most obvious sign of modernism and 'imported' values. Women were considered as the symbol of the Western influence and the idea of women's rights and women's liberation were ~~both~~ attacked. Gender equality was ~~They~~ [v3] presented ~~gender equality~~in Shiite discourse as a Western plot, and women who advocated secular reforms as agents of the West.

For Shariati, "Fatima answers how to be a woman, inside and out, in the home of her father, in the home of her husband, in her society, in her thoughts and behavior and in her life". I saw clearly that Shariati's model woman aspired to nothing for herself. She used her voice only as a daughter, a wife, and a mother, never for herself and for her wants. She was an obedient, silent and weak woman, who only sacrificed for her men. Shariati required women to be a living martyrs, a sexless creatures, free from all wants, the guardians of primitive traditions. He saw women's sexuality as the 'exploiter’s conspiracy' to divert the attention of the male masses. Fatima's sexlessness as a role model was praised because colonialism and imperialism could exploit women's sexuality. Shariati's conception of women did not differ from Islamic law and tradition.

Back in those years when I was 15~~years~~[v4] , ~~finally and confidently,~~ I confidently declared my atheism to the Islamistsm. Between 15 and 16, I became an atheist definitely, in my feelings, understanding and rational thoughts. From that time on, I broke from religion and god completely. There is no ~~atom or~~ particle of god or religion in my soul or in my blood. As I stated before, in this testimony I do not intend to quote from the Koran, Hadith and other Islamic sources to refute Islam or religion in general. I shall instead write about living Islam; living under the rule of state Islam in Iran since 1979.

In my late teens, Iran was pregnant with revolution. The atmosphere of the time was for change, a profound demand for fundamental change in ~~the~~ society. People were marching and fighting for freedom and justice. Unfortunately, the revolution was defeated by the Islamic tradition. The final decades of the 20^th century witnessed another Holocaust, an Islamic one, because of which, thousands have been executed, decapitated, stoned to death and tortured by Islamic governments and Islamic movements. That was the beginning of a dark era, which has not ended. That was the beginning of the rise of political Islam in the world, a period in history that most probably could be compared to the 1930s. ~~Since the beginning ofDuring~~ ~~this period,~~ ~~thousands have been executed, decapitated, stoned to death and tortured by Islamic governments and Islamic movements.~~ There have not been and there are no limits to murder and repression; young and old, women and men are all legitimate targets of Islam's blind and bloody terror. Any voice of dissent and freedom has been silenced on the spot. The robe, turban and Koran continue to drive millions of people into Islamic dungeons. The conduct of Islamic movements is primarily in the form of opposition to the freedom of women, women's civil liberties, freedom of expression in the cultural and personal domains and the enforcement of brutal laws and traditions against people, and killing, beheading, and genocide of people from young children to the elderly.

Yet that is a period in Iranian history that humanity all around the world is largely unaware of. A period during which crimes of such dimension and intensity were committed against people by the Islamic Republic of Iran and other political Islamic groups that, were they better known, would appall the wider world. In Iran, violence has another dimension: one that is based on Islam. The very statement that an Islamic Republic exists somewhere means that unparalleled and brutal violence exists in it. The very fact that people are forced to abide by laws based on something some god or prophet is reported to have said somewhere, is a form of mental violence. If anyone protests against such laws, they are subject to suppression and punishment ~~and suppression~~. And questioning Islam means suffering the worst and the most ferocious kinds of ~~violence~~punishment. Iran is the most transparent picture of what Islam is capable of. I will try to pass you briefly through this period of bloodbath, of the atrocities committed and the brutal anti - women laws and practice by ~~misogyny~~ [v5] ~~committed~~ ofby Islam in power.

I have lived thousands of days in Iran when Islam has shed blood. In the name of Allah, a hundred thousand have been executed in Iran since 1979. I have lived days when I, along with thousands of men and women throughout the country, looked for the names of our lovers, husbands, wives, friends, daughters, sons, colleagues and students in the papers which announced the names of the executed on a daily basis. Days when the soldiers of Allah attacked bookstores and publishing houses and burned books. Days of armed attacks on universities and the killings of innocent students all over the country. Weeks and months of bloody attacks on workers' strikes and demonstrations. Years of brutal murder and suppression of atheists, freethinkers, socialists, Marxists, Bahais, women who resisted the misery of hijab and the rule of sexual apartheid, and many others who were none of these, those who were arrested in the streets and then executed simply because of their innocent non- Islamic appearances ~~and followers of other religions~~. Years of mass killing of youth that kept the keys to ~~the~~ heaven in their fists during the Iran - Iraq war. Years of brutal assassination of opponents inside and outside of Iran.

I, along with thousands of political prisoners, was tortured by order of the representative of Allah and Sharia. Tortured, while the verses of the Koran were played in the torture chambers. The mechanical voice reading the Koran was mixed with our cries of pain from the lashes and other brutal forms of torture. Thousands were shot ~~to death~~ by execution squads who recited ~~recited~~ [v6] Koranic verses while conducting the killings, regarding as blasphemous those who were simply political opponents of the regime (they were called mofsedin fe al - arz va moharbin ba khoda va rasool khoda); the death of blasphemers is required by ~~Islam and~~ the Koran. They prayed before raping women political prisoners, for the sake of Allah and ~~for entering~~in order to enter ~~into~~ heaven. Those who were in prisons and not executed yet, were awaken every day at dawn only to hear more shotguns aimed at their friends and cell- mates. From the numbers of shotguns you could find out how many were murdered on that day. The killing machine did not stop for a minute. Then, fathers and mothers and husbands and wives who received the bloody clothes of their loved - ones had to pay for the bullets. Islamic Auschwitz created. Many of the best, the most passionate and progressive people were massacred. The dimension was and is beyond imagination.

Then, love, happiness, smiling and any free human interaction were all forbidden. And Islam took over, completely.

This is what happened to my generation. But it was not limited only to that generation. It had bloody consequences for the parent generation and also the next generation. In other words, Islam ruined the lives, dreams, hopes and aspirations of three consecutive generations. During those years, millions of children have been brainwashed by Islamic education and manipulated by Islam and Allah. The crimes committed by the Islamic Republic of Iran and the political Islam in the region is comparable to the crimes committed by Fascism in the period 1933-1945 and the genocide in Rwanda and Indonesia.

With this regime's downfall, the world will finally be given an opportunity to know the truth - victims will speak out, prisons and torture chambers will be exposed, torturers will make heart wrenching confessions, Islamic prosecutors and judges will reveal what they did to their victims behind prison walls. Then people all over the world will see what a despicable phenomenon political Islam is.

I haven't mentioned what happened and is still happening to women in Iran. Women were and still are ~~the~~ first-hand victims of Islamic regimes and Islamic forces. In Iran reigns a~~the~~ regime ofof enslavement of women and of the rule of sexual apartheid, where being a woman is itself a crime. In Iran women are legally the inferior sex and, according to Islamic doctrine, this inferiority is rooted in the nature of women.

Women's inequality is god's commandment in Islam, enshrined in immutable law by Mohammad and eventually recorded in scripture. According to the Koran a woman is equal to half a man; it allots daughters half the inheritance of sons. It decrees that a woman's testimony in court, at least in financial matters, is worth half that of a man's. Under Shari'a, compensation for the murder of a woman is half the going rate for men. In most Islamic countries these directives are incorporated into contemporary law. Family law in these countries generally follows the prescriptions of the Koran. The legal age of marriage for girls, polygamy, divorce laws, and the rights of women regarding custody of their children are all specified according to the Koran. Women's rights are compromised further by a section in the Koran, sura 4:34, that states that men have "pre-eminence" over women, that they are "overseers" of women, that the husband of an insubordinate wife should first admonish her, then leave her to sleep alone and finally beat her. That is why wife beating is so prevalent in ~~the~~ Muslim inhaibited countries. Life under Islamic law leaves women with battered bodies and shattered minds and souls. Still, beatings are not the worst of female suffering. Each year hundreds of women die in "honour killings": murders by husbands or male relatives of women suspected of disobedience. Female genital mutilation is also closely associated wit~~++++~~h Islam. Sexual anxiety lies at the heart of most Islamic strictures on women. The veil and hijab are justified by Islam ~~Islam~~ [v7] on the basis that women arouse the lust of men other than their husbands. This is the general condition of the lives of women living under Shari'a law, but the rights of women living under Islamic regimes such as the Islamic Republic of Iran are violated even more. In Iran:

* Women are stoned to death for engaging in voluntary sexual relations.

* Women do not have the right to choose their clothing; hijab is mandatory.

* Women are segregated from men in every aspect of public life. The penalty for breaking the rules of segregation and hijab is insult, cash fines, expulsion, deprivation from education, unwanted marriage, arrest, imprisonment, beating and flogging. I call this sexual apartheid.

* Women are barred from taking employment in a large number of occupations simply because these jobs would compromise their chastity. A married woman can only be employed if she has the consent of her husband. The main duty of women is considered to be taking care of home, children and serving their husbands.

* Women are not free to choose their own academic or vocational field of study.

* The legal age of marriage for girls is 9 years. Women have no right to choose a husband without the consent of their father or, in the absence of the father, that of the paternal grandfather.

* Women do not have equal rights to divorce. Only under extreme conditions such as insanity of their spouse can they file for divorce. In the event of divorce, the father has legal custody of boys after the age of two and girls after the age of seven. The mother loses this minimum right as soon as she remarries.

* Women do not have the right to acquire a passport and travel without the written permission of their husbands/ fathers.

* Women have no rights to the common property of the family.

* Women are officially declared temperamental. Their decisions ~~therefore~~ are considered to be based not on reason but on sentiments. They are, on these grounds, barred from the profession of law, and deprived of the opportunity of becoming judges.

*In courts of law the testimony of two women counts as that of one man, and the testimony of any number of women is invalidated in the absence of a minimum of one male.

During the years that the Islamic government has been in power, thousands of women have spent time in prison, and been tortured for having ignored Islamic regulations concerning hijab, segregation and sexual relationships.

Since I have discussed Islam in a socio-political context and my testimony is based on living Islam, I need to discuss some important related issues and concepts such as political Islam, cultural relativism, the inverted colonialist mentality of Western intellectuals, and secularism. What do I mean by political Islam? How does cultural relativism justify Islam and backward eastern culture in the region? What do I mean by the inverted colonialist mentality of Western intellectuals and how does it serve to promote Islamic fanaticism and racism? What is my interpretation of secularism? Let's start with political Islam.

Essentially, Islam is a set of beliefs and rules against human prosperity, happiness, welfare, freedom, equality and knowledge. Islam and a full human life are contradictory concepts, ~~and~~ opposed to each other. Islam with any kind of interpretation is and has always been a strong force against secularism, modernism, egalitarianism and women's rights. Political Islam, however, is a political movement and current which has come to the fore against secular and progressive movements for liberation and egalitarianism, against cultural and intellectual advances and against the oppressed who are fighting for justice, freedom and equality in the region. This movement was supported and nurtured by the Western governments, Political Islam is a contemporary reactionary movement ~~movement~~ which has no relation to the Islamic movements of the end of the 19^th century. It is the result of a defeated project of Western Modernization in Muslim-inhabited Middle Eastern countries from the late 1960s and early 1970s and a decline in the secular - nationalist movement. The Westernization project failed and the political crisis heightened. Dominant nationalism has generally remained in a political coalition with Islam.

The rise of political Islam has domestic as well as international bases. In the Middle East and Asia, political Islam, like most other reactionary movements, was born in the context of poverty, economic misery, and political oppression and in periods of political crises. Among the hungry and destitute, Islamic movement ~~Islamists~~ [v8] gained support with the promise of salvation for the dispossessed and, in the absence of a strong egalitarian, secular political force, they gained ground. Islamic rhetoric in the region, in countries under dictatorship where no opposition was tolerated, where progressive, socialist, women's rights groups, civil rights movements, and workers' organizations were brutally crushed, found a way to the hearts of deprived people. The anti-imperialist rhetoric added flavor to this appeal.

After the Islamic Republic of Iran took power, this movement got a chance and came out of the margins in the Middle Eastern countries. It was in Iran that this movement organised itself as a government and turned political Islam into a considerable force in the region. Thus, the Islamic Republic's downfall will facilitate the disintegration of Islamic sects worldwide.

When I came to the West in the beginning of 1990s, I was faced by the fact that the majority of intellectuals, mainstream media, academics and feminists, in the name of respecting 'other cultures', were trying to justify Islam by dividing it into fundamentalist and moderate, progressive and reactionary, Medina's and Mecca's, Mohammad's and Kholafa's, folksy and non-folksy. For people like me, the victims of Islam in power, it was suffocating to listen to and have to refute endless tales to justify the terror and, bloodshed~~, and misogyny~~ committed by Islamic movements and Islamic governments in Iran and in the region.

Western liberal and left-wing intellectuals have a strong sense of guilt about the West’s past colonial history ~~of the West~~ and are apologetic to the ‘Third World’ as such. They consider the 'Third World' a given entity, where people are keen to suffer under the rotten rules of Islam, are happy to be deprived of the human civilization in the 21^st century. To them, women desire sexual apartheid, girls love to be segregated, people hate civil rights and individual freedom in the 'Third World'. In their view, people are the allies of Islamic movements and Islamic governments in the 'Third World'. This is a distorted image of the realities. I call this ~~the~~ inverted colonialism. In this picture, people who are fighting for civil rights, secularism and against political Islam are non- existent in the 'Third World'. According to their view, human rights are relative to culture, and the culture of the Middle East is an unchangeable uniform barbaric culture. I call this inverted racism and colonialism. There is an ongoing battle, particularly over the last 20 or more years, between progressive movements in the Middle East and the West on one side, and political Islam on the other side. The records of the daily struggle of people and the non-Islamic opposition in Islam - ridden countries, and the news of the daily resistance of the youth and women in Iran, demonstrate the reality of peoples' needs and expectations in the 'Third World'. The self -~~cent~~e~~red~~centered mentality in which everything should revolve around the guilt of 'Western' 'Ww~~estern'~~ [v9] pseudo - intellectuals is appalling. Freedom of expression, equality of men and women and the right for a secular state applies for the people in the 'Third World' too. Isn't it shameful that we have to argue about it?

According to cultural relativism, human rights are a Western concept and not applicable to people living in non-Wwestern parts of the world. Cultural relativism is a racist idea because its essence is difference. The idea of difference always serves racism. According to cultural relativism we must respect people's culture and religion, however despicable. This is absurd and ~~calls~~ amounts to a call in many cases for the respect of brutality~~brutality~~[v10] . Human beings are worthy of respect but not all beliefs must be respected. If a culture allows women to be mutilated and killed to save the family's 'honour', it cannot be excused.

Cultural relativists stamp us as Islamic and define Iran as an Islamic country. Contrary to this definition, Iran ~~in the 21^st century~~ is a society keen for progress and sympathetic to Western achievement~~achievements~~[v11] . More than twenty years ago, women walked in the street without veils. Although the Islamic Republic has been trying to impose the veil on women for 23 years with killing and acid throwing, flogging and daily propaganda, women have immediately pushed back their veils as soon as knife and acid have been withdrawn~~withdrawn~~[v12] . Similarities to the West have always been seen as high values and virtues. That is why the Islamic Republic cannot control the people of Iran. The young generation that was born under the Islamic Republic is keener on Western culture and civilization, and has more enmity against~~with~~ the Islamic Republic, and more hatred for Islam, than my generation.

Secularism must be defended actively and resolutely in Muslim-inhabited countries and in Islam-ridden communities in the West. The shameful idea of cultural relativism and the systematic and theorized failure to defend people's, particularly women's civil and human rights in these countries and communities, have given a free hand to political Islam to intimidate people and incite the youth. Universal human and civil rights must be the standard.

Why are secularism, separation of Islam from the state, separation of religion from education and other secularist demands so urgent and pressing in Iran as well as in the region? Why do we have to push for secularism now in the 21^st century, two hundred years after the West? What does secularism mean to me?

In the West, with the emergence of capitalism, a profound political, cultural and philosophical movement emerged and criticized backward and antiquated ideas and beliefs. The Enlightenment, defense of individual freedom and civil liberties, the battle against the Church and backward culture, caused a deep change in society's horizon and values and advanced the society. Western society shook off backward feudal and religious thoughts and beliefs.

In Iran, however, capitalism emerged under a repressive regime. Thus, the society did not experience the Enlightenment; and we did not have an array of giant thinkers and philosophers in the forefront of the movement for change. Rather, we had a repressed and closed society together with an army of intellectual dwarfs who were and are up to the neck against modernism, progress and women's liberation. In the West, there was battle against religion and for secularism and ~~freethought~~free - thought[v13] . In Iran, backward intellectual midgets took shelter under the robes and turbans of mullahs against modernism and advancement. These 'intellectuals' theorized the ‘despicable’ ideology of '~~Westoxication~~westoxiction' or 'Westernism'. Together with this domestic situation, the dominant tendency internationally was anti-imperialism and anti-colonialism. A complete system of anti- modernism and anti-secularism emerged. That is why the 1979 revolution for freedom and justice was defeated by the Islamic movement. When the Islamic tendency took the upper hand, following deals struck by ~~the~~ Western governments to fob off Khomeini and the Islamic movement on a people's revolution, society was disarmed completely.

Iranian society has changed dramatically and deeply since 1979. The movement for secularism and atheism, for modern ideas and culture, for individual freedom, for women's liberation and civil liberties has been widespread and deep. Disgust for religion and the backward ruling culture is immense. Women and tThe youth ~~and the women~~ are the champions of this battle; a battle that threatens the basic pillars of the Islamic system. Any change in Iran will not only affect the lives of people living in Iran, but will have a significant impact on the region and worldwide. Secularism is not only realizable, but also, after the experiences of Iran, Afghanistan, the Sudan and Algeria, an urgent and pressing need and demand of the people of the region.

Based on my discussion of the socio-economic situation in the Middle East, political Islam, the backward eastern culture and particularly after the Iranian experience, the 1979 revolution, I believe that the demand for secularism must be comprehensive and maximalist. It must push for absolute and complete separation of religion from the state and other vital demands as follows:

Ø- Freedom of religion and atheism. Complete separation of religion from the state. Omission of all religious and religiously inspired notions from laws. Religion to be declared the private affair of individuals. Removal of any reference in laws and identity cards and official papers to the person's religion. Prohibition of ascribing people, individually or collectively, to any religion in official documents and in the media.

Ø- Complete separation of religion from education. Prohibition of teaching religious subjects and dogmas or religious interpretation of subjects in schools.

Ø- Raising of public scientific knowledge and education.

Ø- Prohibition of any kind of financial, material or moral support by the state or state institutions to religion and religious activities and institutions.

Ø- Prohibition of violent and inhuman religious ceremonies. Prohibition of any form of religious activity or ceremony that is incompatible with people's civil rights and liberties. Prohibition of any religious manifestation or conduct that disturbs people's peace and security, or is incompatible with regulations regarding health, safety, environment, and hygiene. Prevention of cruelty against animals.

Ø- Protection of children under 16 from all forms of material and spiritual manipulation by religions and religious institutions. Proselytizing activity by religious sects targeted at children under 16 should be prohibited.

Ø- All religious denominations and sects should be officially registered as private enterprises, subject to regulations and laws.

I finish my testimony with the hope that in the coming years of the 21^st century, we will be witness~~ing~~ development and progress in Islam-ridden societies and in Muslim communities in the West. All freedom -lovers and secularist forces around the world should take part in a joint effort to combat political Islam; to promote secularism, egalitarianism and freedom in those societies. Humanity must achieve the victory over Islam.